Does it matter in the life of a child?

Tonight, we had parent teacher conferences with my daughter's third grade teacher. My daughter and I talk realistically about expectations of her studies, and we try to keep her focused each night when we get home and remind her to complete her homework before she plays with toys, or anything else she wants to do for the night. I don't remember having this much homework when I was this age. Really, I remember a lot of homework in jr high and high school, but not this much in elementary grades.

Well, one project her teacher had the class do was to write out their personal goals for the year. My daughter wrote me a letter, and folded it neatly in thirds, and put her name and address in the return address spot, and my name and address in the recipient spot, like a business envelope.

I asked if she wanted me to read it right away, or if I should wait. She said I could read it whenever I wanted to, so I waited...and it was a good thing I did. Once we got home and I was able to settle down on the couch for a moment, I neatly lifted the blue smiley face star sticker that sealed it, unfolded it, read it, and cried. Not just a tiny trickle of a tear...but gushing waterfalls and heaving sobs came rushing out of my face uncontrollably - so much so that my husband seemed very concerned and came over to read what I just opened. These are the times I'm once again grateful that God placed him in my life.

I suppose my reaction to the letter was just unleashing the stress of the past few months on the job, and at home...or perhaps grieving yet more transition and friends moving on from my workplace. I love working in ministry a lot, but I'm finding that I'm quite dissappointed in how often people move on - and how God's plan is to grow us, which requires much change. Yes, yes, we all know that a fully grown frog looks nothing like a tadpole, a fully grown oak tree looks nothing like the acorn, and a fully grown human looks nothing like the infant it once was. And yet, even as an adult, I realize just how much growing I'm still doing. It's frightening. I don't know how to react or how to continue to stretch and grow. No wonder they call them growing pains - because they really do hurt.

My mom has been stuggling the past two years with periodic episodes of hypoglycemia. As a diabetic for 15 years, she's had to be very careful about what she eats and how she takes her medicine, and yet being "careful" could bring her into a coma when her blood sugars are too low, and she cannot function as a human being. She exercises regularly, lives independently, and eats nutritiously. But yet, she continues to have episodes like this more and more often. The many times I've called her and she's responded incoherently, or slowly, or she simply cannot move or respond at all have been terribly frightening. And anyone who has lost a parent or has been close to an ill parent can understand what I mean. It just shouldn't be this way. The person I've looked up to my whole entire life should be independent and setting an example of how to grow old gracefully, not stuggling with staying alive.

Because I'm closest to her (both geographically, and because I'm the oldest daughter) she relys on me for help with things around the house, and she helps me out by watching the kids, helping with laundry, and even with financial assistance. We're very close. We've had to establish accountability routines with each other, and that has also brought us closer. She calls me each morning at 6:30am, and that way I know that she is awake and alert, and that her blood sugar is not too low. I also call her each afternoon on my way home from work, to see how her day was and to check to be sure she has eaten a meal recently or has had a snack. I'd do anything to keep what we have going, but anything can happen, and life has a way of changing things. There's only one constant and that is that things change. And so, for the past several weeks, her blood sugars have remained more stable, she's regaining an appetite for nutritious food, and is beginning to feel much better about her health. I haven't had to worry as much about her, because she is now better able to control her blood sugar, and is able to eat when she's hungry - and she actually is feeling hungry again.

And then, it's sometime's the simplest things that make me wonder if the life I'm living is worthwhile. God brings to me a little sweetness and a memory of what life and LOVE is supposed to taste, feel, look, smell, and sound like. Like the taste of dark chocolate covered fresh strawberries dipped in soft cream cheese, the feel of a warm down comforter wrapped around me as I'm drifting off to sleep, the look of my son's face as he smiles with wide eyes and deep dimples, the smell of my husband's skin as he comes home from work, or after he's been playing hard with our kids, and the sound of my daughter's voice as she reads a book outloud or says her prayers before bed, or the roar of a hometown crowd at the world series when Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling strikes out a Colorado batter in the World Series. (Yes, the game is on in the background. Have you seen the movie "Fever Pitch?")

I'm encouraged when I get to see and hear that the people around me are affected by the way I choose to live, and the things I choose to do. Like insisting that homework be done before play, or that all things must take priority somewhere - and that really does include my family, and that mom needs to learn how to eat healthy snacks.

Although I get a lot of whines, wimpers and outright defiance from my daughter when we're working on something that's difficult for her...I often wonder if she cares, and does it matter? Although my mom insists that she's alright and has everything under control - even when I nag her about going to test her blood sugar level, I wonder if she cares, and does it matter? When my mom calls to say "I just needed to hear your voice" I second guess myself and wonder if it matters.
Here's the letter my daughter wrote...in her exact words - letter by letter, space by space. And, it was legible. Good job, honey-girl.

Dear mom,
Thank you for helping me with my spelling.
My goal for the y ear is to work on my hand writeing.
Love,
Layne
P.S. I love you.

5K results

I found out you really shouldn't run a 5k race after you've walked the MN State fairgrounds from 8am to 8pm the day before. I also found out that all the hype and goal setting doesn't help much with motivation unless you have another goal to follow it up with.

Results: 5K in 51.6minutes.
Most of the other runners - my friends - ran it in 28 or 30 minutes.

I also found out that I've got some really great friends - especially the one that stuck through until I came in to the finish line, and re-ran the last .25mi with me and encouraged me to sprint to the end - which I never would have done without her. Thanks, Julie. Your encouragement and motivation through training, and during the run was a huge help to me, and it meant a lot.

I've stopped running - lots of excuses, but of course it only takes one.
And, I'm pushing myself to consider other exercise options. Running made me feel better about myself, as well as feel good physically. I may pick it up again sometime, but for now...I'm looking for indoor exercise, like lifting my fork to my mouth. Ha.

GO! Northside 5K FunRun

I’m running/walking in my first ever 5K race. That’s 3.1 miles.
GO! Northside 5K FunRun

I began my training with a 25 minute run/walk in mid July - and with only one week to go, I’m not even close to getting up to 3 miles in my training. But, it is facinating to see how far I can push myself, and how I can push a little harder and farther each time I'm out running.

I guess I’d better push it harder this week, and see what my body will let me get away with.
I’ll let you know what I find out.

Irish Fair - this weekend!!

http://www.irishfair.com/
See you there!! We're going to be there on Saturday this weekend...and take in some Irish Stew, Fish 'n' Chips, and good ol' Bailey's Irish Creme Cheesecake.


Cara Irish Pubs Main Stage
7:00 pm - Sheep Herding Demonstration - O'Reilly's Border Collies
7:30 pm - Gaelic Storm
9:00 pm - The Young Dubliners



Lots of fun, dancing, events for the kids...
Photos to follow.

Blackbird

My uncle died in Okinawa 2 weeks ago. More than 800 people attended his funeral there.
I pray for peace for my family, and envision him meeting the Creator.

Just listening to a favorite Beatle's song...whistle along if you remember the tune.
Paul McCartney said this song's about civil rights. In England girls are called birds, so this is Paul singing to a blackgirl, saying don't give up the fight.

I imagine taking the brokenness of all that I am, and flying away to Jesus.
I think I want this played at my funeral.


Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.

Blackbird fly,
Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird fly,
Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

It's personal: The beginning of the race conversation

Something deep is beginning to stir in me again. These are feelings I haven't had in a long time. Not because they don't affect me daily, but because I've tried to ignore them. The pain is too tender and I struggle with why God has made us to think, act, live, breathe, eat, feel so different about how we all get along. Some of this may be due to the huge melting pot of a country that we live in; and some of it may just be the way He's wired me.

I began this post on March 28, but left it for awhile. Now, the news of Don Imus - and so many others - who are deeply unaware of how their thoughts on the world around them come out in verbal comments - and how they hurt others...makes me think deeper about my own "stuff" on race. The following is just one story, of which, I have many.

When I was a child, growing up in suburban Minneapolis area, I played with my blonde-haired blue eyed caucasian friends, and for the most part, we didn't even know that we were different. They say that hate is learned from others, and many times from our parents.
In fact, in Junior High, when a dark skinned friend of mine asked me to go to a movie with him...my mother was sure to remind me how difficult life would be if were ever to marry a black man. huh? She proceeded to tell me how life for any children of mixed races are very difficult.

pause...Well, really?? Wasn't I already a product of this? Didn't she think I understood what being a mixed race person was about in this society? She didn't think that Japanese and White have the same prejudices as Black and White/Japanese??? Come on...

So, as it turned out, I never did go to that movie with him, or date him on any level. In fact, that was most likely the end of our friendship.

Race is becoming a very emotional topic for me lately. Not sure what God is stirring in me. I just know that I need to start paying attention. So, if I get some time, my goal is to blog my thoughts & feelings here.

If you haven't experienced it yet, I'd really encourage you to check out the MN Science Museum's exhibit on Race. Interesting conversation...at least I think so. Mostly because for me...it's personal.

Listening to my favorites again

Just Showed Up For My Own Life - by Sara Groves

Spending my time sleep walking
Moving my mouth but not saying a thing
Hoping the changes would take by working their way from the outside in

I was in love with an idea
Preoccupied with how a life should appear
Spending my time at the surface repairing the holes in the shiny veneer

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real
And I just showed up for my own life
And I'm standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

I'm going to live my life inspired
Look for the holy in the common place
Open the windows and feel all that's honest and real until I'm truly amazed

I'm going to feel all my emotions
I'm going to look you in the eyes
I'm going to listen and hear until it's finally clear and it changes our lives

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real
And I just showed up for my own life
And I'm standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

Oh the glory of God is man fully alive
Oh the glory of God is man fully alive

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real
And I just showed up for my own life
And I'm standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

(Lyrics taken from www.lyricsmania.com)

Kids and Snow

Okay...I've just got to share these lovely faces with my friends.

My boy turned TWO in January, and this was one of his first times playing in that lovely wet white-stuff. His big sister dug out a huge hole in a snow bank, and they climbed right in.

Too fun.

Books for Soldiers

If you have used books that are just sitting on your bookshelf
collecting dust...
If you thoroughly enjoyed reading a book and you tell everyone you see
about it...
If you inherited some books because a loved one has died or moved...
If you found an old box of books that you can't justify reading again...

One more resource I may have mentioned a long time ago...
www.booksforsoldiers.com

Worth Dying For

“A man who won’t die for something is not fit to live.”

Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

Check out this opinion article on Military.com.

http://www.military.com/opinion/0,15202,123218,00.html

It's a good day today

Today is my boy’s 2^nd birthday. Yes, we’re excited, and love how fun he is becoming, and how the words of a toddler just make us giggle.

Whenever we’re in the store, he identifies characters that he sees on any merchandise, no matter how small.

Bah-budge (Sponge Bob), Thomas (the tank engine), Q-Q (Blue’s Clues), and Bah-da-bidda (Bob the Builder) all show up in the bath aisle, or the towels and bedding aisles. I turn around to look at what he sees, and it amazes me how he can pick out a small picture of Thomas from such a long distance away. He’s constantly looking for things that are familiar to him.

 

Yesterday afternoon, as we picked up his sister at school, we peeked out of the car seat at the sky for a good 1-2 minutes looking at a very noisy jet airplane that was passing overhead. Everything seems to be amazing to him, and such a sweet gift for me to be able to watch him experience life like this.

 

And, I bought a new Bible last night. It’s not for me…it’s for a soldier in Iraq who gave his away to his interpreter who was interested and came to a Bible study with him this past Sunday. The email from him was so touching, to see how God is moving in his life, and in the life of others he’s coming in contact with. The army forbids any soldier from converting any Iraqis to their religion. However, these two talk about culture and religion in their interest in creating friends. Such a sweet story, I’ll have to share it later…but it touched my heart so deeply, that I’m sending him a care package this week.

 

If you think of it, pray for Matt & “Rock” his interpreter friend.

 

Yes, God is good, all the time.

 

 

Loving a Person

 

Loving A Person by Sara Groves

Album: Add to the Beauty (2005)

 

Loving a person just the way they are, it's no small thing

It takes some time to see things through

Sometimes things change, sometimes we're waiting

We need grace either way

 

Hold on to me

I'll hold on to you

Let's find out the beauty of seeing things through

 

There's a lot of pain in reaching out and trying

It's a vulnerable place to be

Love and pride can't occupy the same spaces baby

Only one makes you free

 

Hold on to me

I'll hold on to you

Let's find out the beauty of seeing things through

 

If we go looking for offense

We're going to find it

If we go looking for real love

We're going to find it

 

Loving a person just the way they are, it's no small thing

It takes some time to see things through

Sometimes things change, sometimes we're waiting

We need grace either way

Military Ministry

Another resource to think about as many of our military men and women are serving away from home this Christmas. Please pray for the soldiers, airmen, sailors and marines of the US military who are serving around the globe.

www.milmin.com

 

As a ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ, Military Ministry is helping send Rapid Deployment Kits (Each RDK includes a small camouflage New Testament with Psalms and Proverbs, an Our Daily Bread devotional guide, and a copy of Would You Like to Know God Personally? packaged in a waterproof bag designed to slip into a uniform pocket.)

 

 

God bring Peace and stillness to the planet.

Skyline

Driving into work this morning, I had a beautiful view of the Minneapolis Skyline.

(This is not my picture...I can't photograph and drive at the same time.)

I was thinking about how the skyline of my life has changed, yet I'm still the same person. New York City's skyline changed dramatically on Sept 11, 2001...yet it's still the same city, sort of.

I've added marriage, children and career to my skyline. The smaller buildings don't get seen from a distance, but the large ones in my life are visible to anyone who takes a look. I'm still the same creature that God created me to be...but I'm not fully there yet. Still under construction, I suppose. That's good, I wouldn't want to think that I'm finished learning yet. So much of the world I just don't understand. My city seems to be sprawling as I grow older, adding friends and loved ones, and watching my children grow.

But, it's interesting to see how a change in the angle, the direction, how the same skyline at the same time of day can look completely different, from a different perspective. I suppose my life looks different to others who don't know me than to those that do. Do I look the same from any angle?

As we move towards the end of 2006, I'm reflecting on what this past year has brought, and how much road construction I see ahead for 2007. What will God bring this year? Will I have joy, sorrow, questions, answers, loneliness, prosperity, peace, love, patience, anger, hesitancy, resentment, humility?

Romans 8:17-25
17And we know we are going to get what's coming to us - an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him! 18 That's why I don't think there's any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. 19 The created world itself can hardly wait for what's coming next. 20 Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in 21 until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens.

What do you bring me, oh Lord? What will the skyline look like from 2007?
I do anticipate good times ahead...but one never knows the path you have for us in this life, in this city. I'm thankful for the blessings You've delivered, and anticipating the things this life has yet to show me.

Bring it on! I'm ready.

Cat's Cradle and other games

My daughter is intriqued by learning to play cat's cradle. So much so, that we've been searching for string/yarn all over the place. My guess is that other girls at her summer school program are playing it, and haven't taught her to play yet. Such a strange and sweet time for her to be totally interested in Barbies, riding her bike, riding her scooter, swimming, singing Disney song lyrics, and learning finger string figures. I don't remember the circumstances, but somehow I remember playing this game with my sister.

Since my daughter doesn't have a sister, her 'best friend' (for now) came to our apartment for their first sleep-over a couple of weeks ago. They both behaved very well, and aside from this friend leaving her swimsuit, a pair of shoes, a pair of shorts, and some hair ties...they played Barbies and watched a mermaid movie. It was some days after this sleep-over that she became interested in the string thing.

So, since I, too, struggled to remember how to play...we kept going around to the same loops again and again...I decided "Let's check the internet."
Here's what I found. So much fun...we may have to check out origami, too.

www.momsminivan.com
www.ifyoulovetoread.com
www.whimsical-workshop.mb.ca/index.html
www.darsie.net/string

What I did on my summer vacation...

Do you remember writing about summer vacation on the first day of school? Reflecting back on riding our bikes, climbing trees, shopping at the mall, lots of swimming, time with family, local festivals and parades... just where did the time go?

One fond memory from teen years (forgive me, I don't remember which year, possibly early 1980's) is watching Saturday Night Live (NBC), as they opened a fall season of comedy. I may have dreamed this, but I could have sworn this really happened. My memory is fading fast, so this is how I remember it. If any of you are SNL 1975-1985 fans, clue me in. Anyhow...That episode the "not ready for prime time players" showed a little video clip (as a skit) of what they did on their summer vacation. That's the summer that Dan Akroyd & John Belushi filmed "The Blues Brothers." Still one of my favorite movies.
"We're on a mission from God."

Anyhow...this summer has been so absolutely crazy, I'm sure any of you checking this blog are amazed to see anything new here. I was one of those prodding commenters who commented on some inactive blogs just to see if they'd post something new. Eventually they did, and I don't think these "friends" of mine actually read my blog...so I can write this. Ha.
But, it took my blogging friend, Erin, to show me that I had been very neglectful of this site. Thanks for reminding me that I AM a blogger. After all, that's one way we came to know about each other...by following the blogs of a group of people at our church (also my place of work.)
I may not comment as often, since I haven't been blogging myself...but I'll be trying to catch up on the summer posts, and you may see the occasional comment from a long-ago post. I apologize for my tardiness in reading your stuff. But, know that I still take interest.

I digress...
Summer vacation...not really a vacation, but it's been a weird break from blogging. So many things are in my head, that would make really great blog posts, I just haven't put them into writing yet. Hopefully, many of them will stay with me, and the creative juices will begin to flow as the temp drops and the leaves turn golden brown. It's shopping time, looking for athletic shoes, new jeans, notebooks, crayons, and glue sticks. It's funny that the school list also asks for things like post-it notes and dry-erase markers. Where will it end? At least I don't have to provide her with a lap-top computer for entering the second grade. Although, that may be a possiblity as my baby boy enters kindergarten in the fall of 2010. Who knows. I never would have thought 5 yrs ago that the price of gas would be where it is today.

So...after being completely wrapped up in work, family, extended family, the cost of living, getting back to health, finding a new daycare, etc. I have to say it has been somewhat memorable. I'll clue you into some of it later. For now, I'll say "Goodnight" and get back to rocking my little ones to sleep. Summer isn't over yet. I'm going to get back to enjoying it.
If you see another post here anytime soon, I'm having trouble sleeping. Otherwise, see you in a few weeks.

Can you sleep when the wind blows?

I don't know who wrote this, but it's one of those email stories that I got from my old college roommate. She's now living in Utah, and I'm still here in MN. Email can be a good way to keep in touch, or a way to send interesting stories...I thought I'd add it here, instead of pressing the inevitable "forward."

Enjoy...

Years ago, a farmer owned land along the Atlantic seacoast. He constantly advertised for hired hands. Most people were reluctant to work on farms along the Atlantic. They dreaded the awful storms that raged across the Atlantic, wreaking havoc on the buildings and crops. As the farmer interviewed applicants for the job, he received a steady stream of refusals. Finally, a short, thin man, well past middle age, approached the farmer. "Are you a good farm hand?" the farmer asked him."Well, I can sleep when the wind blows," answered the little man. Although puzzled by this answer, the farmer, desperate for help, hired him.

The little man worked well around the farm, busy from dawn to dusk, and the farmer felt satisfied with the man's work. Then one night the wind howled loudly in from offshore. Jumping out of bed, the farmer grabbed a lantern and rushed next door to the hired hand's sleeping quarters. He shook the little man and yelled, "Get up! A storm is coming! Tie things down before they blow away!"The little man rolled over in bed and said firmly, "No sir. I told you, I can sleep when the wind blows." Enraged by the response, the farmer was tempted to fire him on the spot. Instead, he hurried outside to prepare for the storm.

To his amazement, he discovered that all of the haystacks had been covered with tarpaulins. The cows were in the barn, the chickens were in the coops, and the doors were barred. The shutters were tightly secured. Everything was tied down. Nothing could blow away. The farmer then understood what his hired hand meant, so he returned to his bed to also sleep while the wind blew. When you're prepared, spiritually, mentally, and physically, you have nothing to fear. Can you sleep when the wind blows through your life?

The hired hand in the story was able to sleep because he had secured the farm against the storm. We secure ourselves against the storms of life by grounding ourselves in the Word of God. We don't need to understand, we just need to hold His hand to have peace in the middle of storms.

I hope you enjoy your day and you sleep well.

She did it

After several refusals to remove the training wheels, she finally let me do it.
And...after she screamed and yelled at me up and down the street in front of Grandma's house in frustration and fear, she finally did it.
"Mom, you've got to help me! No, don't hang on...just help me. Let go! Let go! No!!!! Help me, I said!!!NO, don't hang on! I said help me!"

Finally she did it. My little girl learned to balance, hold her arms strong on the handle bars, and pedal her little legs out. Yes, she can finally ride a bike on her own, without it being a "four-wheeler."

I'm so proud of her.

Where have you been?

Hmmm…
Mother’s Day
Father’s Day
3 funerals in 4 weeks (2 work related, one work related, but also personal)
Sick baby (cold, then ear infection)
Sick me (cold, then sinus infection)
Daughter’s baseball schedule
Mother’s health – not good, but now improving
Interviewing new daycare – current provider sold her house.

I haven’t even had lunch with Julie in a couple of weeks. Today was the first in a long time.

Sorry, new posts will be coming soon. Thanks for checking on me every so often. You blog friends are the best.

Chuckling Chihuahua

"Mom, what's a Chihuahua?"

That's the question that comes from my 7-yr-old's lips from around the corner of her room.

"It's a dog, honey."

"A dog? A Chihuahua is a dog?"

"Yes, a Chihuahua is a dog. Why?"

"It's such a funny word......Chihuahua....Chihuahua....Chihuahua.....ha, ha, ha, ha, HA!
It's so funny...ha, ha, ha.
You know another funny word, mom?
"What honey?"

"Oklahoma!" "He, he, he, he, he, ha, ha, ha, ha......"

The last chuckles were from me. I just couldn't stop.
We went around saying "Chiuauah from Oklahoma" and laughing all afternoon."
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.....


Are you laughing yet?
:)