It's personal: The beginning of the race conversation

Something deep is beginning to stir in me again. These are feelings I haven't had in a long time. Not because they don't affect me daily, but because I've tried to ignore them. The pain is too tender and I struggle with why God has made us to think, act, live, breathe, eat, feel so different about how we all get along. Some of this may be due to the huge melting pot of a country that we live in; and some of it may just be the way He's wired me.

I began this post on March 28, but left it for awhile. Now, the news of Don Imus - and so many others - who are deeply unaware of how their thoughts on the world around them come out in verbal comments - and how they hurt others...makes me think deeper about my own "stuff" on race. The following is just one story, of which, I have many.

When I was a child, growing up in suburban Minneapolis area, I played with my blonde-haired blue eyed caucasian friends, and for the most part, we didn't even know that we were different. They say that hate is learned from others, and many times from our parents.
In fact, in Junior High, when a dark skinned friend of mine asked me to go to a movie with him...my mother was sure to remind me how difficult life would be if were ever to marry a black man. huh? She proceeded to tell me how life for any children of mixed races are very difficult.

pause...Well, really?? Wasn't I already a product of this? Didn't she think I understood what being a mixed race person was about in this society? She didn't think that Japanese and White have the same prejudices as Black and White/Japanese??? Come on...

So, as it turned out, I never did go to that movie with him, or date him on any level. In fact, that was most likely the end of our friendship.

Race is becoming a very emotional topic for me lately. Not sure what God is stirring in me. I just know that I need to start paying attention. So, if I get some time, my goal is to blog my thoughts & feelings here.

If you haven't experienced it yet, I'd really encourage you to check out the MN Science Museum's exhibit on Race. Interesting conversation...at least I think so. Mostly because for me...it's personal.

Listening to my favorites again

Just Showed Up For My Own Life - by Sara Groves

Spending my time sleep walking
Moving my mouth but not saying a thing
Hoping the changes would take by working their way from the outside in

I was in love with an idea
Preoccupied with how a life should appear
Spending my time at the surface repairing the holes in the shiny veneer

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real
And I just showed up for my own life
And I'm standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

I'm going to live my life inspired
Look for the holy in the common place
Open the windows and feel all that's honest and real until I'm truly amazed

I'm going to feel all my emotions
I'm going to look you in the eyes
I'm going to listen and hear until it's finally clear and it changes our lives

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real
And I just showed up for my own life
And I'm standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

Oh the glory of God is man fully alive
Oh the glory of God is man fully alive

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real
And I just showed up for my own life
And I'm standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

(Lyrics taken from www.lyricsmania.com)