Pajama Day

Christmas break (winter break- for those in public school) is a fun time when my daughter and I get to play. I had 5 days off over Christmas weekend, and when we weren't with other family doing traditional family things, we did spend some time reading her new books, playing Clue Jr. and painting her nails. We're so blessed to have my mom (grandma) watch her a couple days so I can work this week, but today she was headed to her school-release-day programming. It's the only day this week that she'll be with her friends, and I recited a little poem to her as she awoke this morning.

    "There was a little girl, who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead.

    And when she was good she was very very good, and when she was bad...she was horrid."

What will my little curly head wake up to be this morning? With a smile and a hug, and a "Good morning, mama." I knew the answer.

 

She was all excited to see her friends and get dressed for Pajama Day. They are planning a simple day of movies, games and crafty activities today. So, she put on the new pajamas I bought her for Christmas, and we put her hair in pig-tails. They put 3 schools together for these release days, because there are few kids who need this programming this week. It's not at her regular school, and all the newness was just a bit much for her. She was so excited to go...until we got there.

 

Then, when the parking lot was bare, and the halls of the school were quiet, except for a few children in one room playing video games and building Legos....she clung to me. "Mom, where is everyone?" is what I felt she wanted to say. As I signed her in, I read through the roster of who was supposed to be there. Only two of her regular friends were scheduled to arrive...and hopefully they did later. But, mostly, she kept asking me..."Mom, are you sure it's pajama day?" I think she was worried she'd be the only one wearing pajamas and would be embarrassed. I assured her that if I had it wrong, we could go home and change clothes. I know she must have been very uneasy this morning...but when she saw another girl from her school wearing pajamas, I think that put her at ease.

 

No fuzzy slippers, no big soft bathrobe, and not even a favorite blanket accompanied her to school this day. But, she did bring two small stuffed toys...a dog and a cat. Some days I think she's such a big girl for 6 1/2, but then it's days like this when I remember how small she really is. I love you, Bug.

 

Just checking in before the New Year

It's been a very busy holiday week, with baby's first Christmas and reading cards and letters from friends far and near. I just wanted to post a little "Happy New Year" something to stay current. You, my friends, are in my thoughts this season, as we say goodbye to old things, and hello to new. In so many ways, this new year is marked with lots of symbolism, and I look forward to seeing what God has in store for each of us. May you be surprised by the blessings our Lord brings to you this new year.

 

Happy 2006!

Balancing act

December has come, and the snow is here as well. The snow should be rain, to hide the tears that just keep coming. Jan will be leaving soon, my friend, my boss, my pastor, my teacher, fellow mother, fellow woman, fellow believer and follower of Christ...and so much more. She has chosen a new path to follow, and I will miss her terribly. She's been around to celebrate the birth of both of my children, to guide me in our ministry of pre-married couples, to listen to my thoughts, to hire me to my current job, to grieve the goings of other work companions, to vision new ways of doing church, to encourage me to start a blog...

We hosted a beautiful communion celebration service for her and her husband last Saturday night, and I kept my emotions together rather well. Most likely because there was so many details to watch for, and so many wonderful volunteers to steer. Friends keep asking how I'm doing, and I say "I'm really good at stuffing my feelings." But, Sunday morning was another matter. I was so terribly angry at my husband for getting up late, because we were running very late for church. I hate being late...although that seems to be something I'm really struggling with a lot lately. I just got so frustrated and angry with him (because I had to blame somebody) that the dam broke...and the floodgates opened wide...first anger, then sadness, then exhaustion. I just couldn't stuff it any more. I must have been PMSing...but the emotions came with other good reasons. Hubby was so sweet to me, and he apologized (although it was my fault as well) and took the kids out of my room for a while so I could cool down. He did everything right (and that's not often.) I just have to say, Thank You, for finally understanding what stuff I've been carrying for so long now.

I wrote my Christmas letter tonight. We'll put it with the pictures of the kids by our little Christmas tree, and it may go out closer to New Year's. But, the thing I keep thinking about as I reflect upon the year in review...is balance. How I feel when I'm out of balance, how well things go when we are all in balance. It's been a year of checking the balance in my finances, checking the balance between work and home, checking the balance in my marriage, checking the balance in my health, my job, my relationship with my kids. Sometimes I feel like I'm on a teeter-totter...othertimes like a tightrope. Either way, it's been about balance.

Praying tonight for more balance, and less weirdness in my life. Will it settle down soon? Okay, I'm waiting...as long as I don't tip completely over. Fragile emotions...but again, bringing me ever so dependent on God. I know He is good, and He will take care of me. Jan put it in her blog on Monday...Do not Fear. I will wait some more.