Auld Lang Syne - Remembering 2007

I'm reflecting and examining my life and the life of my family over the past year. And, because I don't want to lose the Christmas spirit by rushing around and hurrying to get things done before Christmas...I was going to take the weeks after Christmas to write Happy New Year cards and celebrate how blessed we've been in 2007, as we look forward to 2008. Oh well...all good intentions are nothing until they're completed. So...no cards this season. But plenty of reflections.

Here are a few...

My son turned 2 in Jan 2007- and what fun it has been to watch him grow and develop into a toddler.

My daughter chose to be baptized in Christ at Easter time - shortly after her 8th birthday. She chose me as her sponsor, and what a priviledge that was.

We went to a Twins Game on Memorial weekend - as they honored American veterans and Military Service Personnel.

In June, my dear friend and boss, Lisa, got married and moved to Trinidad. At the end of May, I was promoted to Ministry Coordinator - taking her job, and supervising 4 administrative postions, including my old position.
My nephew (brother's son) graduated from high school in the spring, and my sister flew in from Seattle for the weekend. It was good to all be together, although it was a difficult weekend relationally. The disfunctionality of our family was so extremely hurtful and brought to light in many ways. I'm sad it didn't turn out better or change things between us, but it's what it is, and I'm okay with that for now. Auntie met my kids for the first time, and it was good for them to get to know her a little bit.

We went up to the Kettle River over July 4th weekend, and the big highlight, next to spending a little time with my dad, was going organic strawberry picking. My daughter had a blast, and my son couldn't stop from running through the sprinklers and munching on fresh berries.

In July - we went up to Sauk Center to celebrate Great-grandma's (my husband's grandma) 92nd birthday. The kids had a blast with all of the extended family and even got on the John Deere. My daughter spent the entire day in the lake, so not as many pictures of her this day.

In the summer, we went to the beach and the zoo often.

In July, we spent a day away from work to be with our kids, and enjoyed an annual pilgrimage to Minnehaha falls - riding the light rail from downtown Minneapolis and stopping at the Mall of America .

August 1st marked my husband's 42nd birthday. We planned a quiet evening out, that became a night we couldn't keep our eyes off of the TV news. This was the night that the 35W Bridge collapsed in Minneapolis. I remember how strange and surreal it all felt. We were glad to be together and remembered how blessed we've been.

The end of August brought me to an annual retreat with the staff at church, and then I ran my first ever 5K race. I placed way towards the end, and much further back than the rest of my friends, but felt good to do it, and to be motivated to do something. It won't be my last. I'm hoping to start running again in the spring, and hopefully I'll be able to keep it going longer this year. Who knows?


Fall brought us indoors more. The Children's Museum held a Curious George exhibit, and our son enjoyed it much.

Christmas time in our household - lots of toys, joys, girls and boys.

Should old acquaintance be forgot,and never brought to mind ?

Should old acquaintance be forgot,and auld lang syne ?
CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
And surely you’ll buy your pint cup !And surely I’ll buy mine !And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,for auld lang syne.
CHORUS
We two have run about the slopes,and picked the daisies fine ;But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,since auld lang syne.
CHORUS
We two have paddled in the stream,from morning sun till dine (dinner time) ;But seas between us broad have roared since auld lang syne.
CHORUS
And there’s a hand my trusty friend !And give us a hand o’ thine !And we’ll take a right good-will draught, for auld lang syne.
CHORUS

Does it matter in the life of a child?

Tonight, we had parent teacher conferences with my daughter's third grade teacher. My daughter and I talk realistically about expectations of her studies, and we try to keep her focused each night when we get home and remind her to complete her homework before she plays with toys, or anything else she wants to do for the night. I don't remember having this much homework when I was this age. Really, I remember a lot of homework in jr high and high school, but not this much in elementary grades.

Well, one project her teacher had the class do was to write out their personal goals for the year. My daughter wrote me a letter, and folded it neatly in thirds, and put her name and address in the return address spot, and my name and address in the recipient spot, like a business envelope.

I asked if she wanted me to read it right away, or if I should wait. She said I could read it whenever I wanted to, so I waited...and it was a good thing I did. Once we got home and I was able to settle down on the couch for a moment, I neatly lifted the blue smiley face star sticker that sealed it, unfolded it, read it, and cried. Not just a tiny trickle of a tear...but gushing waterfalls and heaving sobs came rushing out of my face uncontrollably - so much so that my husband seemed very concerned and came over to read what I just opened. These are the times I'm once again grateful that God placed him in my life.

I suppose my reaction to the letter was just unleashing the stress of the past few months on the job, and at home...or perhaps grieving yet more transition and friends moving on from my workplace. I love working in ministry a lot, but I'm finding that I'm quite dissappointed in how often people move on - and how God's plan is to grow us, which requires much change. Yes, yes, we all know that a fully grown frog looks nothing like a tadpole, a fully grown oak tree looks nothing like the acorn, and a fully grown human looks nothing like the infant it once was. And yet, even as an adult, I realize just how much growing I'm still doing. It's frightening. I don't know how to react or how to continue to stretch and grow. No wonder they call them growing pains - because they really do hurt.

My mom has been stuggling the past two years with periodic episodes of hypoglycemia. As a diabetic for 15 years, she's had to be very careful about what she eats and how she takes her medicine, and yet being "careful" could bring her into a coma when her blood sugars are too low, and she cannot function as a human being. She exercises regularly, lives independently, and eats nutritiously. But yet, she continues to have episodes like this more and more often. The many times I've called her and she's responded incoherently, or slowly, or she simply cannot move or respond at all have been terribly frightening. And anyone who has lost a parent or has been close to an ill parent can understand what I mean. It just shouldn't be this way. The person I've looked up to my whole entire life should be independent and setting an example of how to grow old gracefully, not stuggling with staying alive.

Because I'm closest to her (both geographically, and because I'm the oldest daughter) she relys on me for help with things around the house, and she helps me out by watching the kids, helping with laundry, and even with financial assistance. We're very close. We've had to establish accountability routines with each other, and that has also brought us closer. She calls me each morning at 6:30am, and that way I know that she is awake and alert, and that her blood sugar is not too low. I also call her each afternoon on my way home from work, to see how her day was and to check to be sure she has eaten a meal recently or has had a snack. I'd do anything to keep what we have going, but anything can happen, and life has a way of changing things. There's only one constant and that is that things change. And so, for the past several weeks, her blood sugars have remained more stable, she's regaining an appetite for nutritious food, and is beginning to feel much better about her health. I haven't had to worry as much about her, because she is now better able to control her blood sugar, and is able to eat when she's hungry - and she actually is feeling hungry again.

And then, it's sometime's the simplest things that make me wonder if the life I'm living is worthwhile. God brings to me a little sweetness and a memory of what life and LOVE is supposed to taste, feel, look, smell, and sound like. Like the taste of dark chocolate covered fresh strawberries dipped in soft cream cheese, the feel of a warm down comforter wrapped around me as I'm drifting off to sleep, the look of my son's face as he smiles with wide eyes and deep dimples, the smell of my husband's skin as he comes home from work, or after he's been playing hard with our kids, and the sound of my daughter's voice as she reads a book outloud or says her prayers before bed, or the roar of a hometown crowd at the world series when Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling strikes out a Colorado batter in the World Series. (Yes, the game is on in the background. Have you seen the movie "Fever Pitch?")

I'm encouraged when I get to see and hear that the people around me are affected by the way I choose to live, and the things I choose to do. Like insisting that homework be done before play, or that all things must take priority somewhere - and that really does include my family, and that mom needs to learn how to eat healthy snacks.

Although I get a lot of whines, wimpers and outright defiance from my daughter when we're working on something that's difficult for her...I often wonder if she cares, and does it matter? Although my mom insists that she's alright and has everything under control - even when I nag her about going to test her blood sugar level, I wonder if she cares, and does it matter? When my mom calls to say "I just needed to hear your voice" I second guess myself and wonder if it matters.
Here's the letter my daughter wrote...in her exact words - letter by letter, space by space. And, it was legible. Good job, honey-girl.

Dear mom,
Thank you for helping me with my spelling.
My goal for the y ear is to work on my hand writeing.
Love,
Layne
P.S. I love you.

5K results

I found out you really shouldn't run a 5k race after you've walked the MN State fairgrounds from 8am to 8pm the day before. I also found out that all the hype and goal setting doesn't help much with motivation unless you have another goal to follow it up with.

Results: 5K in 51.6minutes.
Most of the other runners - my friends - ran it in 28 or 30 minutes.

I also found out that I've got some really great friends - especially the one that stuck through until I came in to the finish line, and re-ran the last .25mi with me and encouraged me to sprint to the end - which I never would have done without her. Thanks, Julie. Your encouragement and motivation through training, and during the run was a huge help to me, and it meant a lot.

I've stopped running - lots of excuses, but of course it only takes one.
And, I'm pushing myself to consider other exercise options. Running made me feel better about myself, as well as feel good physically. I may pick it up again sometime, but for now...I'm looking for indoor exercise, like lifting my fork to my mouth. Ha.

GO! Northside 5K FunRun

I’m running/walking in my first ever 5K race. That’s 3.1 miles.
GO! Northside 5K FunRun

I began my training with a 25 minute run/walk in mid July - and with only one week to go, I’m not even close to getting up to 3 miles in my training. But, it is facinating to see how far I can push myself, and how I can push a little harder and farther each time I'm out running.

I guess I’d better push it harder this week, and see what my body will let me get away with.
I’ll let you know what I find out.

Irish Fair - this weekend!!

http://www.irishfair.com/
See you there!! We're going to be there on Saturday this weekend...and take in some Irish Stew, Fish 'n' Chips, and good ol' Bailey's Irish Creme Cheesecake.


Cara Irish Pubs Main Stage
7:00 pm - Sheep Herding Demonstration - O'Reilly's Border Collies
7:30 pm - Gaelic Storm
9:00 pm - The Young Dubliners



Lots of fun, dancing, events for the kids...
Photos to follow.

Blackbird

My uncle died in Okinawa 2 weeks ago. More than 800 people attended his funeral there.
I pray for peace for my family, and envision him meeting the Creator.

Just listening to a favorite Beatle's song...whistle along if you remember the tune.
Paul McCartney said this song's about civil rights. In England girls are called birds, so this is Paul singing to a blackgirl, saying don't give up the fight.

I imagine taking the brokenness of all that I am, and flying away to Jesus.
I think I want this played at my funeral.


Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.

Blackbird fly,
Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird fly,
Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

It's personal: The beginning of the race conversation

Something deep is beginning to stir in me again. These are feelings I haven't had in a long time. Not because they don't affect me daily, but because I've tried to ignore them. The pain is too tender and I struggle with why God has made us to think, act, live, breathe, eat, feel so different about how we all get along. Some of this may be due to the huge melting pot of a country that we live in; and some of it may just be the way He's wired me.

I began this post on March 28, but left it for awhile. Now, the news of Don Imus - and so many others - who are deeply unaware of how their thoughts on the world around them come out in verbal comments - and how they hurt others...makes me think deeper about my own "stuff" on race. The following is just one story, of which, I have many.

When I was a child, growing up in suburban Minneapolis area, I played with my blonde-haired blue eyed caucasian friends, and for the most part, we didn't even know that we were different. They say that hate is learned from others, and many times from our parents.
In fact, in Junior High, when a dark skinned friend of mine asked me to go to a movie with him...my mother was sure to remind me how difficult life would be if were ever to marry a black man. huh? She proceeded to tell me how life for any children of mixed races are very difficult.

pause...Well, really?? Wasn't I already a product of this? Didn't she think I understood what being a mixed race person was about in this society? She didn't think that Japanese and White have the same prejudices as Black and White/Japanese??? Come on...

So, as it turned out, I never did go to that movie with him, or date him on any level. In fact, that was most likely the end of our friendship.

Race is becoming a very emotional topic for me lately. Not sure what God is stirring in me. I just know that I need to start paying attention. So, if I get some time, my goal is to blog my thoughts & feelings here.

If you haven't experienced it yet, I'd really encourage you to check out the MN Science Museum's exhibit on Race. Interesting conversation...at least I think so. Mostly because for me...it's personal.

Listening to my favorites again

Just Showed Up For My Own Life - by Sara Groves

Spending my time sleep walking
Moving my mouth but not saying a thing
Hoping the changes would take by working their way from the outside in

I was in love with an idea
Preoccupied with how a life should appear
Spending my time at the surface repairing the holes in the shiny veneer

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real
And I just showed up for my own life
And I'm standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

I'm going to live my life inspired
Look for the holy in the common place
Open the windows and feel all that's honest and real until I'm truly amazed

I'm going to feel all my emotions
I'm going to look you in the eyes
I'm going to listen and hear until it's finally clear and it changes our lives

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real
And I just showed up for my own life
And I'm standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

Oh the glory of God is man fully alive
Oh the glory of God is man fully alive

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real
And I just showed up for my own life
And I'm standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

(Lyrics taken from www.lyricsmania.com)

Kids and Snow

Okay...I've just got to share these lovely faces with my friends.

My boy turned TWO in January, and this was one of his first times playing in that lovely wet white-stuff. His big sister dug out a huge hole in a snow bank, and they climbed right in.

Too fun.

Books for Soldiers

If you have used books that are just sitting on your bookshelf
collecting dust...
If you thoroughly enjoyed reading a book and you tell everyone you see
about it...
If you inherited some books because a loved one has died or moved...
If you found an old box of books that you can't justify reading again...

One more resource I may have mentioned a long time ago...
www.booksforsoldiers.com

Worth Dying For

“A man who won’t die for something is not fit to live.”

Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

Check out this opinion article on Military.com.

http://www.military.com/opinion/0,15202,123218,00.html

It's a good day today

Today is my boy’s 2^nd birthday. Yes, we’re excited, and love how fun he is becoming, and how the words of a toddler just make us giggle.

Whenever we’re in the store, he identifies characters that he sees on any merchandise, no matter how small.

Bah-budge (Sponge Bob), Thomas (the tank engine), Q-Q (Blue’s Clues), and Bah-da-bidda (Bob the Builder) all show up in the bath aisle, or the towels and bedding aisles. I turn around to look at what he sees, and it amazes me how he can pick out a small picture of Thomas from such a long distance away. He’s constantly looking for things that are familiar to him.

 

Yesterday afternoon, as we picked up his sister at school, we peeked out of the car seat at the sky for a good 1-2 minutes looking at a very noisy jet airplane that was passing overhead. Everything seems to be amazing to him, and such a sweet gift for me to be able to watch him experience life like this.

 

And, I bought a new Bible last night. It’s not for me…it’s for a soldier in Iraq who gave his away to his interpreter who was interested and came to a Bible study with him this past Sunday. The email from him was so touching, to see how God is moving in his life, and in the life of others he’s coming in contact with. The army forbids any soldier from converting any Iraqis to their religion. However, these two talk about culture and religion in their interest in creating friends. Such a sweet story, I’ll have to share it later…but it touched my heart so deeply, that I’m sending him a care package this week.

 

If you think of it, pray for Matt & “Rock” his interpreter friend.

 

Yes, God is good, all the time.

 

 

Loving a Person

 

Loving A Person by Sara Groves

Album: Add to the Beauty (2005)

 

Loving a person just the way they are, it's no small thing

It takes some time to see things through

Sometimes things change, sometimes we're waiting

We need grace either way

 

Hold on to me

I'll hold on to you

Let's find out the beauty of seeing things through

 

There's a lot of pain in reaching out and trying

It's a vulnerable place to be

Love and pride can't occupy the same spaces baby

Only one makes you free

 

Hold on to me

I'll hold on to you

Let's find out the beauty of seeing things through

 

If we go looking for offense

We're going to find it

If we go looking for real love

We're going to find it

 

Loving a person just the way they are, it's no small thing

It takes some time to see things through

Sometimes things change, sometimes we're waiting

We need grace either way