How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

I got this email over a year ago, and as I was cleaning out some files, ran across it again. Okay, not original stuff, but definitely worth blogging about. Once I get past #2, I just can't stop laughing. I mean, laughing so hard that my cheeks hurt. If you can keep a straight face while reading these, it may be time to change your underwear.  Laughter is the best medicine...so have a little chuckle with me today.

 

 

 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

8. Dont use any punctuation marks

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner: "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

White Squirrels

About a month ago I dropped my son off at daycare, and went back to my car where the city had dug up all the streets around the suburban neighborhood for, you guessed it...Road Construction.
So, as I put the car into drive, and turned around a corner, I saw a white squirrel chasing after a grey squirrel as they darted right out in front of my car. So, what does it mean to have a white squirrel cross your path? I wonder if it's like having a black cat cross your path. It could be as fun as a white rabbit..."I'm late, I'm late." Alice knows the truth in that. I've only noticed cute brown and grey bunnies and the occasional red fox in the suburbs.

Now grey squirrels are pretty common here in Minnesota, and fairly pesky. They confiscate the large seeds from my mom's buckeye tree and carefully nibble away at the outer shell. Then they tuck away the inner nut under the large maple tree and other inconspicuous spots in the front yard. When they don't capture them all during the winter months, we see buckeye sprouts in the springtime. But, how is it that I've lived 38 years of my life and I don't recall ever seeing a white squirrel before. Then, just about a week later, in a different neighborhood, I saw another one. It could be the same one...I mean how many can there be? So, I had to Google it. http://www.roadsideamerica.com/set/squirrels.html...try it. There's actually five cities in North America that claim to be the white squirrel capital. So... I don't know. Do we watch for this budding population in the coming years here in the Minneapolis area? I'll be watching. If you think there's any other significance to this white squirrel sighting, let me know.

Road Construction

They say there are only two seasons in Minnesota, winter and road construction. So much of that digging up the ground stuff, it's reflective of what's going on inside me, and what we've been calling "restructuring" here where I work. Sometimes I find it strange, though, that they close down complete sections of very busy highways and reroute everything into the side streets. Then, when the job is complete, depending on how long traffic has been rerouted, the side streets become the ones in need of repair. Hmmm...maybe it's season for me to find out more about the scenic routes in my life.