explorefaith.org -
When we are real...Lenten Calendar. Guidance on the road to the cross - as we live a life through the 40 days of lent, these guides, signposts along the way, help us to frame how we are to be in Christ, and to be real and feel fully all that is going on inside of us...as promptings from God.
Being intentional about my life during this season of Lent, finding ways to fast from something helps me focus on my Creator, and how He is creating a new life inside of me. Fasting from tv and noise is not easy for me, but I'm longing for the closeness of my spirit with Christ - for a patience to live within each moment as it comes, and not to push past it too quickly.
Sit in silence this week...reflection the next...and pay attention to surroundings on the next. I'm grateful for tools like this calendar to walk us through the season together.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Something's coming...
It feels like the wind is changing. Imagine walking on the shore of a great wide expanse. The wind is shifting...it smells fresh, new, and a little salty on your face. Right now it's a light breeze...but is there a fierce wind behind it? What is that still small voice in the stillness saying? It's been still and stale for a long time now - several months. I've been hoping for a breath of fresh air. Is this it? What is shifting?
Walking on the shore - noticing the wind, the birds, the sunshine, the clouds, the trees swaying in the midst of whatever forces them to and fro. What is this place? I don't recognize it, but it feels familiar - like it's meant for me. Not comfortable, but worthwhile. Not passive, but peaceful. Cared for, but also care free.
Is the tide coming in, or is this a tsunami? What if my feet get wet? Then what? Am I willing to let the wave of whatever this is take me under? Am I willing to let it grab hold of me, and pull me down like an undercurrent and am I willing to die to whatever I was before, and learn to breath under water? When this wave comes into the shore - it brings much with it. Am I willing to get wet, or stay safe and dry? What if it's not a tsunami, but just another rising tide - that only comes waist deep? Is it enough to knock me off my feet? Am I willing to let it come over me, or do I need to jump into it? When it has completely overwhelmed me, what will it look like when it goes out to sea? Will I stand on the shore all wet, or will I be swept out with it and dance and swim with the creatures of another world?
I'm blowing the doors off the walls and the box that I've lived within. I've set up a definition of who I am, by trying to find out more about who I am. And, what if that's not who I am going to be forever? What if I am being called to something far greater than I could ever imagine?
It started with a wondering, about a vocation, about something different. Playing on what I really love, time with my husband, great music, great food, creating space for people to experience relationship and themselves. What does it take to open a restaurant? What would it look like if we took our children out of school and moved across the globe and began a mission in another country? What would it be if I took a new job with travel opportunities, and was able to take my family with me to another world?
I had a dream last summer about a huge plate of vegetables - and that my life was so very plentiful that I wanted to give it all away. What if those vegetables weren't vegetables at all? What if they were gifts from God? And...what if they weren't my gifts? What if I was helping others to give away their gifts to others? What would that look like?
I don't blog for you, dear reader. I blog for myself. For words as I process things outside my own head. I blog for reasons that I believe Jesus is bringing new life to me. I can still only see the steps right in front of me...but I see an amazing vista. And, I wonder - out loud most times. What would it look like from that other peak over there? What about from that shore to the left, from that tree to the right, from a small boat in the middle of the ocean? Can I see the forest from where I am? Looking at the trees right next to me, I don't know if I'm even looking at a forest, or just a grove of trees. Perhaps it's just a guideline - a boundary - for a new land way beyond my dreams. Boy, these are pretty trees. What do they do? How did they get here? Who lives here? Am I looking at too many details that I can't see the big picture?
My desire is to breath in and feel the shift in the wind. Then, to rest a while in the freshness of that breeze...and gather enough strength...and allow it to totally take my breath away.
Walking on the shore - noticing the wind, the birds, the sunshine, the clouds, the trees swaying in the midst of whatever forces them to and fro. What is this place? I don't recognize it, but it feels familiar - like it's meant for me. Not comfortable, but worthwhile. Not passive, but peaceful. Cared for, but also care free.
Is the tide coming in, or is this a tsunami? What if my feet get wet? Then what? Am I willing to let the wave of whatever this is take me under? Am I willing to let it grab hold of me, and pull me down like an undercurrent and am I willing to die to whatever I was before, and learn to breath under water? When this wave comes into the shore - it brings much with it. Am I willing to get wet, or stay safe and dry? What if it's not a tsunami, but just another rising tide - that only comes waist deep? Is it enough to knock me off my feet? Am I willing to let it come over me, or do I need to jump into it? When it has completely overwhelmed me, what will it look like when it goes out to sea? Will I stand on the shore all wet, or will I be swept out with it and dance and swim with the creatures of another world?
I'm blowing the doors off the walls and the box that I've lived within. I've set up a definition of who I am, by trying to find out more about who I am. And, what if that's not who I am going to be forever? What if I am being called to something far greater than I could ever imagine?
It started with a wondering, about a vocation, about something different. Playing on what I really love, time with my husband, great music, great food, creating space for people to experience relationship and themselves. What does it take to open a restaurant? What would it look like if we took our children out of school and moved across the globe and began a mission in another country? What would it be if I took a new job with travel opportunities, and was able to take my family with me to another world?
I had a dream last summer about a huge plate of vegetables - and that my life was so very plentiful that I wanted to give it all away. What if those vegetables weren't vegetables at all? What if they were gifts from God? And...what if they weren't my gifts? What if I was helping others to give away their gifts to others? What would that look like?
I don't blog for you, dear reader. I blog for myself. For words as I process things outside my own head. I blog for reasons that I believe Jesus is bringing new life to me. I can still only see the steps right in front of me...but I see an amazing vista. And, I wonder - out loud most times. What would it look like from that other peak over there? What about from that shore to the left, from that tree to the right, from a small boat in the middle of the ocean? Can I see the forest from where I am? Looking at the trees right next to me, I don't know if I'm even looking at a forest, or just a grove of trees. Perhaps it's just a guideline - a boundary - for a new land way beyond my dreams. Boy, these are pretty trees. What do they do? How did they get here? Who lives here? Am I looking at too many details that I can't see the big picture?
My desire is to breath in and feel the shift in the wind. Then, to rest a while in the freshness of that breeze...and gather enough strength...and allow it to totally take my breath away.
Prayer for Patience
Gracious God, it’s so hard to wait. To wait for new things to happen in my life. To wait for you to answer my prayers. To wait for the open doors that may lead me into a new way of being. During the time of waiting, it seems that all I can think of is having what it is I am waiting for. At times I feel weary of asking and waiting, and I wonder if you really hear my prayers at all, if you are ignoring me, or if you are simply refusing to give me my heart’s desire. A part of me knows that you want my best, and that your time is not my time, but Lord, it is still so hard to wait. Deepen my trust, O Lord, during the times when my heart longs for what can only come in the fullness of time. Give me a calm assurance that your will for me is grander than anything I could ever imagine. Still my mind and heart in your love so that I am mindful of the grace you are draping around me every single day, every single moment. I ask this for the sake of your love.
Copyright ©1999-2008 explorefaith.org
Copyright ©1999-2008 explorefaith.org
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Links to a hidden world
Creativity - writing, playing music, playing, art, dancing, thinking outside the box...
Physical activity - running, working out, swimming, gardening, shoveling snow, stripping wallpaper, painting a wall, mowing the lawn...
Spirituality - sense or sensitivity to religious values, and/or experience of life from a faith perspective.
My friend, John, has been blogging for 7 days in a row, and has set a goal of 28 days of creativity.
I love what he says about creativity being linked to spirituality. I find myself meditating during gardening, stripping wallpaper, and even shoveling snow. Enjoy the link to his site. Very interesting.
Physical activity - running, working out, swimming, gardening, shoveling snow, stripping wallpaper, painting a wall, mowing the lawn...
Spirituality - sense or sensitivity to religious values, and/or experience of life from a faith perspective.
My friend, John, has been blogging for 7 days in a row, and has set a goal of 28 days of creativity.
I love what he says about creativity being linked to spirituality. I find myself meditating during gardening, stripping wallpaper, and even shoveling snow. Enjoy the link to his site. Very interesting.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
A Lenten Prayer by Henri Nouwen
The Lenten season begins. It is a time to be with you, Lord, in a special way, a time to pray, to fast, and thus to follow you on your way to Jerusalem, to Golgotha, and to the final victory over death.
I am still so divided. I truly want to follow you, but I also want to follow my own desires and lend an ear to the voices that speak about prestige, success, pleasure, power, and influence. Help me to become deaf to these voices and more attentive to your voice, which calls me to choose the narrow road to life.
I know that Lent is going to be a very hard time for me. The choice for your way has to be made every moment of my life.
I have to choose thoughts that are your thoughts, words that are your words, and actions that are your actions. There are not times or places without choices. And I know how deeply I resist choosing you.
Please, Lord, be with me at every moment and in every place.
Give me the strength and the courage to live this season faithfully, so that, when Easter comes, I will be able to taste with joy the new life that you have prepared for me.
Amen.
I am still so divided. I truly want to follow you, but I also want to follow my own desires and lend an ear to the voices that speak about prestige, success, pleasure, power, and influence. Help me to become deaf to these voices and more attentive to your voice, which calls me to choose the narrow road to life.
I know that Lent is going to be a very hard time for me. The choice for your way has to be made every moment of my life.
I have to choose thoughts that are your thoughts, words that are your words, and actions that are your actions. There are not times or places without choices. And I know how deeply I resist choosing you.
Please, Lord, be with me at every moment and in every place.
Give me the strength and the courage to live this season faithfully, so that, when Easter comes, I will be able to taste with joy the new life that you have prepared for me.
Amen.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
It's all about timing...
I hate waiting...but somehow I'm called to do it right now. I'm trying to live in the little bit of light that I have, and not ask for more to be revealed until the right time.
What is it about God's timing that is always perfect? When we wanted a baby, we waited 3 years for a pregnancy, and in that waiting I did much soul searching. But, God knew that I needed to wait. Then, when I wanted a second child, He knew that I would be better cared for in a different job - so that I could spend time with my baby - so that one waited several years as well. Now, my kids are 10 (almost 11) and 5. They are wonderful pieces of my life...and in the waiting I found that He was watching and waiting with me. Watching me to move and grow in ways that drew me closer to God.
Then, as we waited several years to buy our first house...when it was right, I just knew it in my gut. Somehow, God continued to provide the right pieces to fall into place when we had waited just long enough.
It was hard knowing when the waiting was over, though. And, when the heart begins to move and leap - is that the time to end the waiting?
Because right now my heart is leaping to some new things, and I wonder what is in this waiting time? Is there something I should be doing? preparing? for the end of the waiting? Is there going to be an end to the waiting?
All that I know is this...that I am called to wait. That this 'crisis" or whatever that I'm living in during my "mid-life" is strange and unfamiliar. But, because He, who has always been faithful to me, is present and waits beside me...then I, too, can be faithful to Him and wait for the right time to move forward.
Until then, thanks for journeying with me. Let me know you've stopped here by leaving a comment. Tell me how God has met you in your waiting for something.
What is it about God's timing that is always perfect? When we wanted a baby, we waited 3 years for a pregnancy, and in that waiting I did much soul searching. But, God knew that I needed to wait. Then, when I wanted a second child, He knew that I would be better cared for in a different job - so that I could spend time with my baby - so that one waited several years as well. Now, my kids are 10 (almost 11) and 5. They are wonderful pieces of my life...and in the waiting I found that He was watching and waiting with me. Watching me to move and grow in ways that drew me closer to God.
Then, as we waited several years to buy our first house...when it was right, I just knew it in my gut. Somehow, God continued to provide the right pieces to fall into place when we had waited just long enough.
It was hard knowing when the waiting was over, though. And, when the heart begins to move and leap - is that the time to end the waiting?
Because right now my heart is leaping to some new things, and I wonder what is in this waiting time? Is there something I should be doing? preparing? for the end of the waiting? Is there going to be an end to the waiting?
All that I know is this...that I am called to wait. That this 'crisis" or whatever that I'm living in during my "mid-life" is strange and unfamiliar. But, because He, who has always been faithful to me, is present and waits beside me...then I, too, can be faithful to Him and wait for the right time to move forward.
Until then, thanks for journeying with me. Let me know you've stopped here by leaving a comment. Tell me how God has met you in your waiting for something.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Being open to the call
God is calling me...but I'm not sure I'm hearing Him correctly. When I look at the circles of discernment - those repeated places from varying sources...I find myself wondering and scratching my head. It's still not clear.
I'm praying for clarity - for God to simply open or close the doors where He would wish that I go.
Then, once I hear Him clearly - I ask for humbleness to be obedient to His call - to follow wherever He may want me to go.
This is once again setting me face down in the sand. Instead of wondering...I'm going to simply be open to listening and following. And pray that He guides me to something very clear and without a doubt of where I should be, and what I should do.
Dear Lord, be with me. Help me rid me of myself - and be reminded that I completely 100% belong to you!
I'm praying for clarity - for God to simply open or close the doors where He would wish that I go.
Then, once I hear Him clearly - I ask for humbleness to be obedient to His call - to follow wherever He may want me to go.
This is once again setting me face down in the sand. Instead of wondering...I'm going to simply be open to listening and following. And pray that He guides me to something very clear and without a doubt of where I should be, and what I should do.
Dear Lord, be with me. Help me rid me of myself - and be reminded that I completely 100% belong to you!
Monday, February 08, 2010
"Angel Doves" lyrics - Mindy Smith
My soundtrack for today...Hillsong, Mindy Smith, and Natlie Merchant.
Angel Doves - by Mindy Smith
When you're bilndsided and decieved
And chained to the floor
When it's diffucult to see
Riding on the world
Keep on believing God is
Soaring above a world that is
Running out of love
Pouring hope out over us
His angel doves
When it's hard for you to breathe
Keep a clear mind
When it's hard for you to be
Just to be yourself sometimes
Keep on believing God is
Soaring above a world that is
Running out of love
Pouring hope out over us
His angel doves
Truly believing God is
Soaring above a world that is
Running out of love
Pouring hope out over us
His angel , His angel, His angel
His angel doves
I don't think I hate change...
It's funny as I think about it. I have gone through a tremendous amount of change in my workplace over the past year. People have left - or been let go - departments consolidated and now we're overworked and understaffed. Our direction hasn't changed, but it feels like the path has. I say "I hate change." But, I'm not so sure about that.
I'm the first one to choose a different spot to sit at the table, different spot to park in daily, different place to sit in church on Sunday, different way to drive home. I recently changed my cubical at work, to get a new perspective - and additional workspace. All these empty cubes just sitting here, they might as well be used.
I change my hair, I change my clothes, I decide on a different food for each meal. I love the change of seasons -yes, even the first snowfall...but I'd love it to change back to summer right away. We even bought a new house last year - and I peeled wallpaper off walls in a bathroom downstairs last night. That is change.
Is it the change that I hate so much? Or, is it just not having control over the change, and not knowing why the change is necessary? I find myself very wrapped up in "change you can count on" and "change for the good." When I also know that change is necessary for growth.
I'm the first one to choose a different spot to sit at the table, different spot to park in daily, different place to sit in church on Sunday, different way to drive home. I recently changed my cubical at work, to get a new perspective - and additional workspace. All these empty cubes just sitting here, they might as well be used.
I change my hair, I change my clothes, I decide on a different food for each meal. I love the change of seasons -yes, even the first snowfall...but I'd love it to change back to summer right away. We even bought a new house last year - and I peeled wallpaper off walls in a bathroom downstairs last night. That is change.
Is it the change that I hate so much? Or, is it just not having control over the change, and not knowing why the change is necessary? I find myself very wrapped up in "change you can count on" and "change for the good." When I also know that change is necessary for growth.
I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. - John 12:24So, how am I being changed? Am I willing to die to myself so I can live In Christ? The change is subtle - the change is intentional. The question remains...if it's not "change" in itself that I hate - what is it?
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