I don't think I hate change...

It's funny as I think about it. I have gone through a tremendous amount of change in my workplace over the past year. People have left - or been let go - departments consolidated and now we're overworked and understaffed. Our direction hasn't changed, but it feels like the path has. I say "I hate change." But, I'm not so sure about that.
I'm the first one to choose a different spot to sit at the table, different spot to park in daily, different place to sit in church on Sunday, different way to drive home. I recently changed my cubical at work, to get a new perspective - and additional workspace. All these empty cubes just sitting here, they might as well be used.
I change my hair, I change my clothes, I decide on a different food for each meal. I love the change of seasons -yes, even the first snowfall...but I'd love it to change back to summer right away. We even bought a new house last year - and I peeled wallpaper off walls in a bathroom downstairs last night. That is change.

Is it the change that I hate so much? Or, is it just not having control over the change, and not knowing why the change is necessary? I find myself very wrapped up in "change you can count on" and "change for the good." When I also know that change is necessary for growth.

I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. - John 12:24

So, how am I being changed? Am I willing to die to myself so I can live In Christ? The change is subtle - the change is intentional. The question remains...if it's not "change" in itself that I hate - what is it?