We never really die

explorefaith.org - Open Your Eyes

Seeking some solace, refuge, quiet stillness and silence...I look for things to help me meditate on where God is and where He may want me to be also. I have linked to explorefaith.org before. This is another way for me to seek God, to be opened up to the possibility of a closer spiritual relationship with Jesus Christ, my savior, King, and friend.

Recent grief has been like a dark cloud over my head the past month. I am remembering, too, the death of my dear friend Julie as we approach the two-year anniversary in another two months. I don't think we ever really finish grieving...as I believe the work that God does in our soul that is all about healing and reconciling us to Himself, is a life long process. Only in the opening of our eyes, in our earthly death do we finally see Him fully, truly, and wholy Holy. He is all of that, but we don't get to see it until we die to this life on this planet.

Dallas Willard has some things to say about dying, and how we never really die. This poem by Richard Guy Miller speaks to that for me.

I also believe that grief is experienced and felt in a variety of ways in each of us very differently from one another. I believe it's not that you can't feel joy or relief from the pain - or that you must act sad when you are in grief. I believe that no matter what you are feeling - that you should feel it fully - and God will meet you there. It may be in a happy memory, in the busy-ness of life, in the sad realization that we are left behind, in the lost hope of a future with our loved one...or whatever, that we must continue to FEEL what is happening to us, in us, and around us. We must give ourselves the grace to be who we are when we are, not just when others think it's appropriate. Time does heal wounds, and feeling the sorry does get less at times, but at other times the flood of emotion and sadness creeps back into my life and I need to allow myself to feel it, and not to stuff it down and ignore it's impact on my mind, body and spirit. To me, this is my spirituality. I may never understand fully the impact of a death on my life. But, I must receive the gift and knowledge of it by allowing my body and emotions to notice where I am and perhaps wonder why I am.

Open my eyes, Lord, to the time and place that is You.