The birds nest

As I pulled weeds and filled mulch in the front garden yesterday, I saw a broken egg about the size of my pinky finger, lying in the weeds. It either fell from the tree or some animal carried it there. Broken open, contents not completely devoured by the elements or a predator, it became fertilizer for my flowers…as I buried it under the dirt, and lay mulch on top of it. The symbol of the egg brought new imagination to me once again as I await what God has in store for me.

Some call it “limbo” or “transition” a threshold into another place…but I call it fog. Not a foggy mind, where things aren’t clear…but a safe covering of something, like a veil that has yet to be pulled back, like the inside of an egg. Not a cocoon, as I’m not sure I’ve spun this one on my own, but a place of rebirth, a place where unknown newness lays.

At the end of my season in my last spiritual direction group – I felt a need to choose a gift for each gal in my group. I found some small trinkets at a shop in town; things that spoke a little about each story that was shared during our 9 months together.  I chose a small votive holder with tea light for each one, and the artwork on the outside was unique to their story – birds, swans on a lake, and an uplifting message about persistence. Also, I chose a special one that sent a message about listening for our facilitator.

As I chose these gifts for my companions, I chose something special for myself…

A small bird’s nest with three tiny green eggs sat quietly on a shelf of the store, and spoke new life into my troubled journey. These eggs are the same size as the one I saw on the ground. The symbol of new life, motherhood, home, comfort, rough places, unknown waiting, and hope filled my thoughts – and my heart filled with expectation. I brought the nest back to my office, and it sits on the shelf where I look upon my life. It’s out of the way, so as not to distract me from getting my daily work done. But today, for some reason, I brought it down right in front of my computer.

Something alive is stirring in me, and it’s like the soft shell of a bird’s egg that is just ready to start pecking it open from the inside out. These eggs sit quietly now…but when the time is right, the hope of new life is going to push its way into reality.