Each season comes with its ups and downs, and for a long season I had experienced a pretty joyful season. I was hungry for God, and finding strength for the journey from what I thought was a calling on my life. Then, everything changed.
In the middle of December 2011, I was helping a friend with CD sales at concerts for his holiday group of musician friends, called SimpleGifts. I was thrilled to be having so much fun meeting people, talking about the music that I love, and just being around really great people.
I love the group so much, I planned some time away from work to travel around the Twin Cities with them for a week before Christmas. We started that week with a concert at my home church and I invited family to see the show. My mom & kids enjoyed the show immensely that night - and then the kids went home with her to spend the night as they had so many times before. I went out with friends that night and then home to rest. The next morning would be the beginning of the end.
My mom was scheduled to call me at 6:30am as she did every morning for accountability of her diabetes control. She didn't call, and as I called her - my daughter answered the phone and said "Grandma isn't waking up." Those words weren't unfamiliar to me, as she had had episodes of low blood sugar before. I woke my husband to come with me, in case he needed to attend to the kids, and without a shower or so much as a toothbrush, we rushed out of the house and drove 15 minutes. As my husband and I arrived at my mom's house, walked upstairs to see her still asleep, I checked her blood sugar. If it was low, I'd know what to do. Get her some juice, a little something to eat, and get her back up to normal for the day. When the glucose monitor registered a high number, my heart sank. I couldn't fix this. I called 9-1-1.
I called my brother to meet us at the hospital, and he and his wife and I sat outside the ER waiting for some idea of what was going on. CT scan had shown she had a cranial bleed. It wasn't an aneurysm, instead a hemorrhagic stroke. Funny, she was taking one aspirin a day and medication to control cholesterol so that she wouldn't get a clot - and she instead had a bleed. This bleed was so significant that the neurosurgeon told us there was nothing he could do. So, we waited with hope that she would awake and we could talk to her and tell her what was going on. Something in my spirit feared that this was the beginning of the end. The next decisions we had to make as we moved from the ER to ICU and to a regular neuro floor in the hospital were extremely difficult, but my brother and I felt we were on the same page, because Mom often talked about her wishes in these types of circumstances. In fact, I helped her to craft a healthcare directive (living will) and she had it notarized just earlier in the year.
My takeaway from this part of my journey with my mom's illness...take the time to talk with your loved ones about the difficult decisions they might have to make on your behalf. My mom was prepared. I was prepared. And, my brother and I were able to make the life and death decisions for her that honored who she was and what she wanted. This is my vow for my family. In the next year, I will take the time to write out and have notarized a MN Healthcare Directive. I will share it with my medical clinic and doctor, and will more importantly share it with my loved ones. This is a gift I will give to them, and then schedule to revisit and update it every couple of years.
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